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Thursday, November 29, 2007

But sir, I thought seasons were meant to be three months long each?

"It's the white witch that makes it always winter. Always winter and never Christmas; think of that!"

So sayeth Mr Tumnus The Faun to dear little buck-toothed Lucy upon her falling through the back of the wardrobe into CS Lewis' magical world of Narnia.

Ok, so maybe we do get Christmas, but nonetheless I do feel that CS Lewis had Montréal in mind when he came up with the idea of a world where the snow rests thick on the branches of the trees all year round, where the rivers are perpetually frozen over... where it's always winter and never spring.

I mean, ok, it's only been a couple of weeks now since Montréal's famed winter temperatures have descended to the point that snow is no longer melting. However, the thought that it is going to be like this until the end of MAY is just crazy! I mean, we're not talking about a cold winter here (rumour has it that there is a always a two week period of -40 degree temperatures in February). We're talking about a resetting of the seasons.

I mean what happened when the supreme being was deciding the make-up of the world?

God: Alright Montréal, how's it going?
Montréal: (slouched in his chair, a petulant school boy, his shirt untucked, he chews loudly on a piece of gum) Yeah.
God: (slightly awkwardly) Allllllright. That's good. Now,(looking down at his note pad) last time we spoke we agreed you'd get a bilingual culture. So let's now move on to weather patterns.
Montréal: Whatever.
God: Ok. So do you think you'll be wanting Spring?
Montréal: hmmm... what does it do?
God: Well, uh, flowers will bloom, temperatures will get warmer, animals will generally reemerge and fornicate, ... it's a period of fecundity and rebirth... a new beginning and all that.
Montréal: What's the alternative?
God: Well, if you decided you don't want Spring we could throw in a few extra months of biting cold, horizontal sleet, deathly penetrating wind, and seemingly never-ending snow fall. What do you think?
Montréal: Ummm... yeah we'll go with the death cold and stuff.
God: (taken back) Oh! Ah... right... I mean, you're sure about this? I mean, it's just that no one's ever gone for that option before.... I mean, you're sure? Winter, from November through to May? That's seven months of winter?
Montréal: Yeah.
God: You want seven months of winter per year do you?
Montréal: Yep...Seven months of winter is awesome.
God: Awesome.

ps. God to be played by John Cleese.

2 comments:

Laura said...

Hey James!
You're really not warming up to the weather, are you?!

But you know, I'm sure after few nights like tonight, were the snow falls down gently on your eyes lashes, you will get use to it, and maybe start really liking the never ending snow falls.

By coming to Chelsea for Christmas, you'll get the chance to see all the grass, the ground, dressed in a long white coat, where it shines so vividly in the middle of the afternoon; it's beautifull... and I think you will enjoy your large cup of hot carob each time you come in from outside.

I hope I cheered you up a bit!

See you!
Good night!

Christelle said...

Cheer up! Usually, by April, snow has melted in Montreal... ;) The proof: this pic taken on 18 April 2005, studying in the park: http://christellefv.com/weblog/?p=48 :)